The Easter Bunny will be hopping elsewhere

Years ago, when I was committed to this blog, I wrote this about the Easter Bunny.

So we’ve established that I’m not tied to the Easter Bunny to begin with. It shouldn’t surprise anyone, then, that I made a decision to not propagate the tale of the egg-laying rabbit for my son (in the future, when he understands words). We’ll have egg hunts and stuff, but I don’t think I’ll spend any time making up the story.

Here’s what I’m thinking:

1. I want to establish that this particular holiday for us is sacred. It’s fun. It should be celebrated. But it’s also a time for reflection for Christians. I feel that other religions are really good for this sort of thing; they have legit holy days (<– holidays) that they take seriously. I would like my family to have that kind of reverence on Easter.

2. I don’t even know the Easter Bunny story.

3. I figure I’m saving myself the trouble of eventually having to explain that one more mythical creature isn’t real. Santa and the tooth fairy are probably enough.

4. I knew this kid who got her stories mixed and came up with the Ghoster Bunny, which was frightening to her and caused a lot of problems every spring. I doubt that would happen here; I just like the story.

Any thoughts on this? What are the days (if any) that you consider sacred/really important for reflection?

Since I probably won’t post again for a few days, Happy Easter everyone!

Advertisements

Swiffer thinks women are romantically involved with cleaning products

swiffer

Date me!

While we’re on the topic of advertising (after talking about Cascade), I would like to add Swiffer to my hitlist.

You’ve probably seen them, but here are the commercials I’m referring to:

In Swifferland, women love cleaning products so much that we not only appreciate them, use them frequently and rely on them to make our lives easier, but we have personal and even romantic relationships with them. When something (not someone) better comes along, we dump our old mops/brooms. And it’s on to the next one, ladies. But, don’t worry, we don’t have to feel bad about our exes; they’ll find other household objects to make up for what we offered them in our previous relationship. And we will move on with our new objects, satisfied with how they fulfill our emotional, intellectual and maybe even physical (ewww) needs.

Cascade thinks women can’t get along

From the Cascade website

From the Cascade website

Nothing boils my blood quite like advertising. Not saying it’s worse than domestic violence or unequal wages or rape culture or (globally speaking) lack of basic human rights, it’s just more noticeable to me.

On today’s hit list: Cascade commercials

In case you haven’t seen them, watch these:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0z8orrZv6ls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=fvwp&v=T86X-41KYs4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ELzTksxsAQ

And for good measure:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujhVT2fDReo

This is what they’re telling me about women; this is the version of me that they’re trying to sell back to me:

  • Women should and do care a whole lot about sparkling dishes
  • No matter how hard they try, women just can’t get along with each other
  • Women are so competitive that the thought of another woman outperforming them in a domestic task is enough to drop the dish gloves
  • Dish-related conflict is so common that someone, a Kitchen Counsellor, could make a living talking crazy women off the ledge
  • Well-meaning men shouldn’t even try to help us, because women are so bitchy and crazy and clean

Hey Casade. Your advertising sucks. You’re sexist and condescending and old hat.

For my son on International Women’s Day

women

From Status of Women Canada

As a mother, I have just as much responsibility to teach my son about women’s rights (well, human rights) as I would if I had a daughter. As I thought about this today, I compiled a list of things I want him to understand as he grows up.

  1. Despite ubiquitous and overwhelming messages to the contrary, women’s bodies do not exist to be admired, criticized, evaluated, complimented, and/or picked apart. If you have opinions about a woman’s body, keep them to yourself.
  2. Women and men have differences, but we have more similarities. Be skeptical of information that polarizes the sexes. We’re all human.
  3. Women do not exist to be adjuncts to your life and your dreams. While your wife (if you have one) should support you and spur you on, her goals are just as important as yours.
  4. 99% of the female bodies you see on TV represent less then 5% of the body types real-world women have. Adjust expectations accordingly. Also, refer to Point 1.
  5. Don’t act like a jerk to get girls. Don’t act like a nice guy to get girls. “Getting girls” is not a hobby—it’s predatory. If want a relationship, be open and be yourself.
  6. Women are not cunts, bitches, hoes, or sluts. Don’t ever let me catch you using these words.
  7. Despite your best intentions, complimenting a female stranger on her looks is creepy. It’s not flattering; it’s off-putting. Also, refer to Point 1.
  8. There’s no such thing as a typical girl. Some women are emotional, some aren’t. Some women like to talk; some don’t. Some women enjoy preening; others don’t. Some women want children; some don’t. Like men, women are not a homogenous group. Enjoy the diversity!
  9. Beware of women who speak poorly of other women. It’s a sign of poor character and a weak sense of self.
  10. No one likes housework, and you’re no more entitled to be a slob than anyone else is. Expect no one to pick up after you.
  11. Uncomfortable though it may be to receive sex advice from your mother, this is important: Approach sex with a “yes means yes” mentality; you will have better sex. There is a difference between having sex with someone who will merely ‘let’ you, and someone who genuinely wants to have sex with you. If you have to convince/pressure/manipulate someone to sleep with you, you’re in the wrong.
  12. While we’re on the topic of sex, let’s discuss porn. I’d like for you never to watch it, because I think it screws up men’s ideas about women and sex. That said, should you happen to watch porn, please know that actors are paid to look as though they’re enjoying themselves. Adjust expectations accordingly. And for heaven’s sake, do not view it as a model of regular and healthy sexual activity. (See: http://makelovenotporn.com/pages/landing)
  13. Sex trafficking is a legitimate issue in this country. Research it.
  14. You are not entitled to have sex just because you want it. Put another way: The only sex you are entitled to is that which you have with yourself.
  15. Know your privilege. You don’t have to feel guilty about it, just be aware of it and advocate for those on the margins.

“Being funny is like any other artistic skill, but to wield it successfully requires outspokenness, unapologetic honesty, supreme self-assuredness, and an outright refusal to pander. And those aren’t exactly the traits we foster in our little girls. (Instead, we go with mistrust of other women, an extreme longing for expensive garbage, and the idea that being pretty is more important than being smart. Oh, here’s your toy, girls, it’s a fake baby that poops fake poop into a fake diaper for you to fake clean up. Have fun “playing.”)”

Lindy West

Why women aren’t funny

I keep hearing that women aren’t funny. These are my thoughts on why this probably is.

X is funny.
Male comedians talk about X.
Therefore, men are funny.

X is funny.
(Some) Female comedians talk about Y (sometimes).
Therefore, no women are funny.

It doesn’t matter that elements of X have the potential to alienate 50% of the audience. That’s too bad for them, because X is categorically funny.

Y deviates from X. And since only X is funny, Y cannot possibly be funny. To anyone. That matters.

If X includes objectification of women, too bad; it’s funny. If X includes rape jokes, too bad; it’s funny. If within X, women’s contributions to society are trivialized, minimized and sexualized, too bad; it’s funny.

One more thing: if you don’t think X is funny — which it obviously is —  you are automatically a scheming witch with zero sense of humour and you are obviously trying to bring men down, which is a travesty, because men are picked on constantly nowadays, and it’s not fair, and men deserve to walk through life saying and doing whatever they want, and anyone who gets in the way of that deserves a comment field full of physically and sexually violent threats.

Thank you.

Things I don’t like about sending my son to daycare

  1. That he’s there and not here with me, writing on a baby-sized computer and watching cat videos.
  2. Almost 1/3 of my monthly income goes towards paying for it.
  3. He doesn’t immediately stop smelling like daycare when he returns home, which, for me, is like smelling the other woman’s perfume.
  4. Other people don’t have to send their kids to daycare.
  5. He eats gross, kid non-food now, like Bear Paws and Kraft Singles and bologna.
  6. His daycare provider knows more about what he’s doing than I do, but cares less.
  7. Our home routine now models that of his daycare. I even have to say, “Okay little birdie, it’s time to sleep in your nest,” just so he’ll nap.
  8. He started headbutting me within days of attending there. I think I know which kid he learned it from, too. (See point 10)
  9. He gets sick all the time, because the kids can’t help but lick each other.
  10. There’s a weird-looking kid there and I have to see her when I pick him up. She’s not deformed or suffering from a serious illness or anything; she’s just off-putting and I would just prefer not to have to see her. cropped-img_1196.jpg