In the meantime

I’ve been reading this blog: http://www.estheremery.com
(In short — though I’m sure she’d explain it more eloquently — Esther Emery is a radical homemaker who is living off the land with her family, as a counter-cultural act in favour of simplicity and community)

It’s pretty cool. Esther is pretty cool. She is doing things that inspire me, things that, if I were to actually live out my convictions in a radical way, I would probably be doing more of (probably minus the yurt).

Sometimes I get depressed about the life I’m not living, the life that would make a real difference, the life that would make an interesting read. Sometimes I feel like I am really starting to grasp the things that are truly important, only to realize how far away I am from prioritizing them.

The reality is that I’m kind of stuck at the moment, and I have to accept that this is an “in the meantime” season for me.

Until my husband finishes his PhD, I will be working outside the home, leaving my son in daycare, and making the best of evenings and weekends. The busyness will mean I will have to react to life more than proactively shape it. I will regularly be unhinged. And I will covet the meaningful lives others are living. I don’t see how it can be any different.

In my “in the meantime” season, I will have to settle with learning, being encouraged by how others are making a difference, and embodying my convictions in really, really small ways (like using my ugly flip phone and growing vegetable seedlings in my basement).

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There’s no intended take away from this post. I just thought the Internet was lacking in self-indulgence today.

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