Bob Barker, castration and the apocalypse

Yesterday I did what any responsible pet owner would do: I ordered my dog’s testicles to come off. As I walked his trusting self into the vet clinic, I felt bad that puppy was losing his junk, but I knew that it had to be done. It’s like I always say, the less pillow-humping the better.

Besides, anything that Bob Barker backs, I support.

I am hesitant, however, about the simultaneous microchipping procedure. Part of my anxiety is the feeling that I’m forcing Argo to get the mark of the beast… although he *is* a beast…it’s uncomfortable for any Protestant who has watched rapture movies since the highly impressionable age of six. (Looking back, I have no idea why any parent would let their kid watch a movie showing anti-christ-sanctioned decapitations, but believed that The Simpson’s was wholly inappropriate).

Get this: the microchip doesn’t even have a GPS device. So, if my dog *does* get lost/stolen, I have to wait until he escapes from his captor’s barbwire-fenced dungeon before someone finds him and turns him in to the pound.

Why get the microchip?
1. I have money to just throw away
2. Toronto is apparently bad for dog theft
3. Cause if he ever ran off there would be no way for anyone to find his home.
4. I’m not sure that all dogs go to heaven, anyway


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