Wedding Reflections

I had the pleasure of attending two back-to-back weddings this weekend. I enjoyed both! I also observed some things about weddings that I would like to share with you.

Slide shows

I noticed that when creating slide shows, people focus way too much on baby pictures. Sure, we all enjoy a few photos of li’l Jimmy and li’l Susie with spaghetti on their faces, but we don’t need to see baby’s first everything. There is a limit. The disproportion is especially obvious when the teen pics start rolling out and there are only five, taking up only 15 seconds of Butterfly Kisses as opposed to all two and a half minutes of Good Riddance. Maybe babies are more photogenic. Maybe teens don’t like being photographed. All I’m saying is I don’t think you need to force content in the slideshows.

My suggestions:

  • 1. Don’t be afraid to condense. I watched a 12-minute slideshow once. That’s a long time. Consider that we only watch eight-minute segments (if that) on television before a commercial airs. For the 21st century viewer, short = sweet.
  • 2. Keep it simple. Don’t get too crazy with the PowerPoint widgets. I can only handle so many photos cartwheeling onto the screen.
  • 3. Instead of a parent, let a friend make the slide show to avoid unnecessary attachments to pictures of Billy in the bathtub.
  • 4. Avoid choosing Rod Stewart as background music. In fact, avoid all cliché songs about rites of passage. There are millions and millions of songs in the world. All are accessible (via the powers of the interweb). There are no excuses for bad slideshow music anymore.

Big money versus sweet love

The more money spent on a wedding, the more details there are to forget. I used to think that I wanted a $35,000 wedding until I attended one that cost only $5,000. The simpler wedding was beautiful in the same way that all weddings are beautiful: the celebration of a couple’s love and commitment. Really nice things were said about really nice people. There were vows and kisses and friends and family. Who cares about wedding favours and seat covers? The love was there.

Music

iPods are cheap DJs, but they are crappy DJs. Unless the couple puts effort into the exact musical line-up, the dance portion of the evening will suffer if left up to your MP3 player. People figure that they like all the songs on their playlist, so the ‘shuffle’ setting should suffice. It does no such thing. You can’t hype me up with Hey Mickey only to bring me down with Unforgettable. It’s not fair.

Also, just because you like a song doesn’t mean that it’s appropriate dance music. Think about The Killers. They’re catchy. You wanna sing along. But can you think of one song that you can legitimately dance to? And don’t say Somebody Told Me, because you can’t.

Food

I ate Ethiopian food at one wedding. You eat it with your hands and it was fabulous. Maybe this is less about wedding food and more about Ethiopian food. Either way, I highly recommend it.

Conversation

Be prepared.  If you’re ever going to talk about your own singlehood, it will be at a wedding. I can’t tell you how many times I was asked when it was my turn to get married. If you don’t have a prepackaged answer in your back pocket, you could be looking at a very long and uncomfortable conversation.

That’s it. The rest is just looooove–the wedding that is, not the marriage. I heard those were more complicated to summarize.

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4 thoughts on “Wedding Reflections

  1. This has got to be your funniest post yet! Not sure what the brides of your weddings will think – but you are funny – lucky for you Dad removed most of the bath shots

  2. My favourite part of this blog was the reference to “Butterfly Kisses”. If that song wasn’t ruined the first time I heard it, then it was definitely ruined the first time I attended a wedding with a slideshow. So Jen, when are you getting married? 🙂

  3. Excellent advice! If only I would have waited to get married to be able to absorb such nuggets as these. Although I do believe we spared our guests from any slideshow, and had a DJ that brought us the great dance-a-thon of ’03. Perhaps that was when you truly educated yourself on these matters? Oh and by “all in due course”, does that mean next summer, or…

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