*JENlightened~

The daily 24 newspaper doesn’t seem to be as impressed with me as the Metro.

Since my last post, I have become a sudoku-timing maniac. Yesterday, I finished the 24 puzzle in eight minutes. I was pretty stoked to remain in the highest category, reinforcing my supreme intelligence. When I read their description for my ‘10 Minutes and Under’ achievement, all it said was “Are you kidding me?”

That’s it. As though just ANYONE could do it. Last week, I was a genius and this week I get a rhetorical question. It just doesn’t add up.

p.s. I *will* blog about something important soon… until then, my PR plan must prevail.

I have it good authority that I am, in fact, a genius.

The Toronto Metro newspaper claims that anyone who finishes their Sudoku in under 13 minutes is a genius. Since I finished the puzzle in 7 minutes, I have an exclusive seat at the table with other greats such as Pascal, DaVinci and Proust.

According to Wikipedia (the de facto academic source for geniuses like me), “a genius is a person who successfully applies a previously unknown technique in the production of a work of art, science or calculation, or who masters and personalizes a known technique.”

I couldn’t agree more. I approach Sudoku puzzles like no one else before me.

Man, I am underpaid.

It has come to my attention that I am a first impressions snob. I didn’t realize this about myself until my friends told me that they make a point to prep me before I meet someone new. Apparently, they tell me about the newbie’s social faults upfront, so I won’t be judgmental when I we’re introduced.

Several examples proved their point. And I had nothing to stand on. I was ashamed.

After the shock of realizing I’m not perfect wore off, I started thinking about why I am so quick to decide whether or not I like someone. Maybe it’s because I know what I look for in a friend. Maybe my brain can tell within 10 minutes whether we’re compatible. Either way, it would seem that once I make up my mind, it’s hard to get me to come around.

“But Jen,” you might protest, “so and so is really nice.”

“EXACTLY!” I reply.

‘Nice’ is not a characteristic I include in my “list of things to look for in a friend”. To me, ‘nice’ simply means ‘not mean’. In my experience, very few people are mean when you first meet them. Nice is a given. If someone wasn’t nice to you, then you probably wouldn’t be introducing him or her to me. In fact, you would have likely been offended and avoided that person for the rest of the gathering. If I was going to include ‘nice’ on my list, I would use a better word, such as ‘kind’ or ‘thoughtful’. They carry more weight in my lexicon.

My response to nice is “what else?”

When I meet someone, I want to know more. I don’t need a manifesto or anything, just an indicator that the person is also cool or smart or funny or silly or whatever it may be. From there, I make my decision.

What *is* the deciding factor? It’s anyone’s guess; all I can tell you is that it’s not about pleasantry. I would say that I have pretty great friends, so whatever the algorithm is, it’s working so far.

And to those that didn’t pass through, maybe I was off that night… or maybe you’re a real big jerk.

I was filling out my contact information at the vet clinic yesterday and I noticed that ‘Ms.’ wasn’t an option in the title section. I have to admit I was a little put out. My ownership of Argo has nothing to do with whether or not I’m married.

A few years ago, I made the decision to go by ‘Ms.’ rather than ‘Miss’ or ‘Mrs’. Since then, I have had several lengthy conversations (even arguments) as to why I chose this title. I never understood why anyone would care about how my mail comes in, but for some reason ‘Ms.’ really gets under some people’s skin.

For me, the reason is simple: my relationship status is inconsequential in most situations. To me, it’s the equivalent of entering your height and weight on your tax forms. I’m also not a proponent of the possessive connotation that Mrs has (Mrs = Mister’s), or identifying women in terms of their relationship to men

But to a lot of people I’ve spoken with, it’s not so cut and dry. These individuals consider the title to be a statement against the opposite sex. To them, a woman who loves her husband would naturally be proud to say she’s attached; implicitly, one who doesn’t declare her union loves him less. As it often is, female independence is seen as disrespect for men.

Outside the realm of people I know, it seems there are a lot more people who think Ms. isn’t a good choice. Research shows that even though Ms. has become the norm in most professional settings, women who actively use the title are still stereotyped as more assertive and less warm and feminine than those who don’t. Others are concerned that they will be seen as taking a feminist stance and be stigmatized.

However you paint it, I see a real lack of education in the objection. Ms. is not about the level of love and commitment to a partner; it’s not about putting men in their place; it’s not about being liberal for its own sake. And those who do see it as such should take a long look at why they feel that way. Why so threatened? Ms. is about removing needless categories and using language more effectively so we can think more effectively.