What happens when you have kids

African Lion Safari

 

Hope for the future

I hope you’ll allow me this chance to gush.

I picked up my stepdaughter last Friday and, as we were driving home, we were talking about Christmas and how my husband and I want to give presents to people who actually need them. That’s how the subject of poverty came up. I tried to steer the conversation to a lighter topic, but she started asking me all these questions about how other people live.

She asked if everyone has food and clothes, and whether all kids go to school. When I said ‘no’, she didn’t understand:

“Why can’t school be free?”

“Why don’t people have food?”

“What happens to them if they don’t have food?”

“Why don’t they just move away from the poor cities? Why don’t they just come here?”

“Why do we even need money?”

These were tough questions and there were a few times when I had to say I didn’t know, and that they were complicated issues. But from her seven-year-old point of view, they weren’t hard questions at all. In her opinion, we live in a place that has more than enough and there’s no reason we can’t share.

I tried to explain about governments and greed; she still didn’t accept it. She suggested that Canada starts a “Share Day” where we give half of what we have to poor countries. When I applauded her idea, she said we should go tell the Canadian government. I told her that you can’t just go talk to them, you have to write letters. “Well then everyone should write letters,” she said plainly.

She also said that maybe she would be “a government” one day, and just make everything fair.  Easy peasy.

 

Approaches to voting

From Muffet on Flickr

I was listening to a talk radio show about the Toronto Mayoral race, and why candidate Rob Ford is leading the polls (which is a good question, because the guy is a piece of work). From what I gather, he’s the number-one candidate right now because he represents everything current Mayor Miller does not. Because no one likes Miller, Rob Ford is seen as a breath of fresh air.

As the show progressed, a dozen people called in with their opinions. One caller didn’t believe Ford really had a vision for Toronto, but thought he would cut unnecessary spending in the short term. Another caller liked Ford because he seemed like an average Joe who was more accessible than the rest.  The last caller wanted to vote in Ford as a protest to Miller’s tenure.

The reasons why people vote are increasingly interesting to me.

I’ve known friends to vote against their own interests just because the candidate belonged to a special interest group. I have seen people idolize candidates because they relate to them (e.g. hockey mom Sarah Palin). Others will vote for another party because of a scandal in the current administration. And some vote for the same party out of loyalty.

I don’t know what the right or best reason is.

What informs your decision to vote for a certain candidate?

To answer my own question, I approach voting in one of two ways. If there’s one hot issue under debate, I would vote for the party/person who represents my opinion on the matter. Otherwise, I try to vote for the person/party that I feel represents my interests in general (socially and then financially).

 

Where’s the off switch?

from Tobyotter on Flickr

I went to Buffalo, NY, with my mother-in-law today; we had a lovely time! I haven’t been there in a while, so she was sort of showing me around all the outlet stores.

Whilst there, I noticed a couple of things.

1. I saw a lot of overweight people. This is America’s stereotype, of course, and it probably didn’t help that we were shopping in stores in which processed food was cheap and sold in bulk, but I was taken aback. I looked into it and apparently 30 PER CENT of the American population is overweight. That is a lot of people. (To be fair to our American friends, one of the heaviest couples we saw had an Ontario license plate.)

With all the education we have about nutrition and healthy portion sizes, you would think obesity would be on a downturn. A part of me wonders if consumers want extra-large portions because it proves they’re getting their money’s worth, which leads me to my next observation.

2. Merchandise is extremely cheap and that’s how we like it. In Buffalo, there are outlets upon bargain stores upon liquidation centres that sell cheap stuff. I get how economies of scale make things less expensive in the States, but a lot of the products we came across was essentially being given away. On a Kohl’s receipt, for example, the total came to $63.00 and below the total, it said we saved $96.00. So we got $159 worth of stuff for less than half of the price.

Businesses aren’t charities. They still make a profit when they put merchandise on sale, which obviously means the actual cost of their products is less than half of what they paid for it. (This logic, by the way, used to keep me from eating the meat in a $2 frozen TV dinner, because really, what kind of meat is being used if $2 covers the meal, its packaging and profit). It’s just bad news.

Once my mind starts down the money road, it’s hard not to think of the individual who made whatever it is that I’m buying. If, say, a shirt was originally $50, but I got it for $10, and the company still has to make its cut from the sale (let’s say $3), how much was the producer paid to make this shirt?

We want things cheap. We do. No one can deny it. It feels good to get a deal. I’ll admit the adrenaline rush at seeing the Kohl’s bill. I felt so smart and resourceful.

Then I start thinking about global poverty. Talk about a buzz kill.

You really have to turn  your brain off to enjoy anything these days.

 

I don’t care if you met online

from Don Hankins on Flickr

Whenever someone tells me they have an online dating profile or that they met someone via the internet, there’s always a qualifier:

“Dont judge me, but…”

“I know it sounds stupid, but…”

“How we met? Well it’s cheesy, but…”

“I’m know I’m a total loser, but…”

.

Listen and listen good: No. One. Cares. If. You. Met. On. The. Internet.

If anyone does care, it’s because he or she doesn’t actually *use* the internet.

It’s not the early nineties anymore, when the only person you were meeting online lived in his mother’s basement. People meet people ALL the time on the internet. That’s why they’re called social networking sites.

It doesn’t make you a creeper because you would rather gauge someone’s personality before you invest the time into meeting them in person. It doesn’t make you loser that you would rather not go to bars and hook up with randoms.

You might think it’s weird that people don’t meet in person anymore. That’s because it is weird (as in, different from before). But you know what? I’m okay with that difference. So are the MILLIONS of other people who use these sites.

In case you need it, I am hereby granting you and everyone else permission to feel confident about online dating.

 

THE best resignation ever!

I LOVE disgruntled employees. I find them magnetic! I especially love it when they quit.

If last week’s viral Quitting Letter wasn’t funny enough, this Dry Erase Board resignation letter should have you in stitches. I love it. Oh I do.

 

Taking names

I rented Hot Tub Time Machine last night. Not an award winner, but I enjoyed it. Having laughed my way through it, there was still one element of the plot that irked me. I realise that picking apart a made-for-guys comedy isn’t exactly worth it, but I’d like to bring it up nonetheless.

One of the characters in the movie, Nick, is a whipped and emasculated husband who can’t imagine his world without his cheating wife. His friends constantly make fun of him for being “her little bitch”. At one point, even though he tries to hide it from his friends, we find out that Nick has hyphenated his last name with his wife’s.

When everyone overhears it, they make fun of him for being a bigger “pussy” than before. They bring it up two more times, questioning how he could have let it happen. In the end, Nick gets his name back, which I guess is supposed to signify that he got himself back.

As someone who took my husband’s last name (except professionally), this grated me. I can’t understand why a woman should take a man’s last name and be happy about it, but a man shouldn’t take a woman’s name because it’s demeaning. What does this say about the perceived worth of a woman’s identity versus a man’s?

It’s funny to me that a father’s last name is strong and honourable, but as soon as the name belongs to his daughter, it somehow weakens, and her husband would have to be a poor excuse for a man to take it as his own. To me, the message is clear: it’s not the name that became weak; the weakness lies within the person to whom the name was given.

This is another example of tradition preventing people from thinking critically. We just do things, because that’s how they’ve been done. Never mind that by the time most women get married, they have had their name for two-plus decades and have accomplished many things under that name. Never mind that actually changing a name is a pain in the ass (which is why I think most divorced women keep their ex’s name). Never mind that a husband’s last name might just suck compared to the wife’s.  (Not to knock Sorlie or anything, Dad, but mom’s maiden name, Moore, was rad.)

I’m not saying women shouldn’t take men’s names. I’m also not advocating for worldwide hyphenation, because, really, it’s a slippery slope. I am, however, encouraging that we develop an open mind surrounding the topic.