Foot in mouth?

Information  you need before we begin:

1) The new girl at work is brown.
2) There are a lot of both Indians and Indian-Canadians in my office.
3) I am English-Canadian

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*Coworkers huddle outside, waiting for the fire drill to end*

Coworker 1: Are we ordering Indian food today?
Coworker 2: I don’t think so.
Coworker 1: I have a real craving for it.
Me: I could go for some Korma.
New girl: Really? I don’t like Indian food.
Me: Oh that’s okay, I don’t like English food.
New girl: I’m not Indian.
Me: Right.

-end-

I apologised and learned that her family was from Trinidad. We moved on to talk about other things, but I was mortified for the rest of the day, and if I think about it now (which I am), I shake my head.  I assumed she was Indian because she is brown, which was an ignorant assumption.

Here’s where it gets confusing in my head. Coworker 1 later told me it’s not a big deal, that where someone is from shouldn’t be a sensetive topic (after all, there is nothing wrong with being from India). So now I’m wondering if she’s right. *Should* this be a sensetive topic and am I making something out of nothing?

It’s interesting because I think we make these sort of race-based assumptions all the time; I would argue, a lot of the time, it’s innocent. For example, I’m white and people are often surprised to find out I’m first generation Canadian; whereas, I have fifth-gen Asian-Canadian friends and strangers assume they just got here.

I still feel dumb and have learned my lesson, but I wanted to put it out there and see what you guys think of this topic.

 

Not sure if I should bother with this

I just watched Marilyn Manson’s new music video, and I’m wrestling with it. I’m not a fan of his, so there might be something about the video that I’m not getting.

(FYI: it gets graphic near the end)

I researched it a little to see what others are saying. I was surprised to read a lot of people found the video artistic and beautiful (apparently, there are illuminating moments of intertexuality). I’m wondering if anyone wants to connect the dots for me, because here’s how I interpret it:

Marilyn Manson is beats and kills a girl (with a striking resemblance to his ex-girlfriend, Rachel Evan Wood) because she hurt him in some way. I assume she cheated or broke up with him, or maybe she used his eye liner without asking. Whatever it is, she has angered MM and now she is dead in a bathtub. I think we’re supposed to connect with him because he sings the song with teary eyes.

I have to say I had trouble sympathising. I am also a little shaky on how showing a woman being literally beaten senseless is beautiful. What I see is portrayal of violence that (I think) is meant to make viewers relate with his anger.

I realise Manson is a “shock” rocker, but this isn’t one of those taboo subjects, such as religion, where he dresses up like Jesus to anger conservatives. Domestic violence (particularly against women) is a real issue and he presents it like it’s an option, or as though he *wishes* it was an option. He was actually quoted earlier this year, saying “…the song ‘I Want to Kill You Like They Do in The Movies’ is about my fantasies. I have fantasies every day about smashing [Wood's] skull in with a sledgehammer.”

In light of the recent gang rape in Richmond, California, I find this video especially heartbreaking. Nothing about violence is beautiful or interesting or artistic.

 

Has Degrassi taught you nothing?

This music video sets women in sports back yet another 40 years.

Ironically, Drake played a wheelchair-bound jock on the show Degrassi High: The Next Generation. You would think years of playing Jimmy Brooks would give him insight into the challenges of being taken seriously as an athlete when you’re different (in his case, being in a wheelchair; in women’s case, being, you know, women).

Here’s what I glean from the video.
1. Only unattractive women are good at sports.
2a. Women in sports, however, aren’t worth watching unless they are attractive, because
2b. women are meant to be gazed at.
3. A woman’s whole is the sum of her parts…the bigger the parts, the better the woman.
4. Women shouldn’t bother working at a sport, they should just wear skimpy outfits and focus on being cute (oh, and flexible).

 

New and Imp—

You might be able to tell two things by the lull in blog posts.

1. I’m really busy, which is true. When I am free, sitting in front of a computer to write more just seems masochistic. Thanks to the few of you who have been encouraging to keep this up.
2. The move to Hamilton has been somewhat uninspiring. Stretching, but uninspiring. The biggest thing going on here right now is the squirrel living in my attic, Geoffrey. I’m pretty sure, as of today, Geoffrey the squirrel is dead. Maybe the neighbourhood kids will start throwing rocks at the house again. *Crosses fingers*

To make up for lost time, here’s what I’ve been up to for the last little while.

1. I’ve been getting really good at numbered lists.
2. I went to Texas on a business trip where I discovered why I would never want to live there, much less return to visit. At the risk of sounding stereotypical, EVERYTHING THEY SAY ABOUT TEXAS IS TRUE. Don’t believe me? (A) The guy sitting next to me on the plane was reading a Guns and Ammo magazine and was surprised to find out Canada has its own currency. (B) Every man I met at the conference had shot a deer in his late childhood (only one man admitted to crying) and still supports their old high school football team. (C) While “southern gentlemen” do exist, it doesn’t take long to figure it is totally condescending—whether intentional or not. (D) An oil and gas professional thanked God in his award acceptance speech and was loudly applauded (not a big deal, per se, but highly unusual for a business conference). (E) Dinner conversation included discussions about how ridiculous Liberals are and how Texas can and will become its own Republic if Obama keeps up his shenanigans (can you believe he actually approves of universal healthcare?). (E) Someone actually said “don’t mess with Texas” in a discussion.
3. Interestingly, while I was down there, I was reading The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti, a book about America’s obsession with young women’s virginity (i.e. abstinence-only education, purity balls). I was very cognisant of what this book implied about my leanings and so I removed the dust jacket, to make people think I was reading Shakespeare. Anyway, the contents of that book have been somewhat consuming, and though I didn’t agree with all of it, I have spent a lot of the past few months thinking about the relevance of feminism in developed countries. I have also been thinking a lot about how backwards it is for North American Christians to expect everyone else to behave as though they are Christian, whether or not it represents someone’s actual ethics. It was an appropriate book to read in Texas, where the goal is to legislate everything in favour of the fundamentalists’ ability to continue existing in a society that is most comfortable for them—which seems to negate many of Jesus’ basic teachings.
4. This leads me to a renewed interest in my own spiritual journey. I’ve been going to church pretty regularly in effort to bring me back to my roots. So far, it has been personally rewarding and quite challenging. I feel like a bit of a hippy, actually, because this particular church finds its roots in Mennonite culture, so there’s a lot of emphasis on community, passivism, love, simplicity etc. All good things.

There you have it. You’re all caught up! I have to say I have really missed blogging. Next time I have a moment, I’ll make sure to write again.

 

Happy Birthday, Blog!!!

from nakedauthors.com

*JENlightened~ is one year old tomorrow!

Happy Birthday, my sweet angel. May all your wishes come true.

So cute. To celebrate, I’m going to throw a highly populated and overly expensive party that she’ll never remember!

 

Maweed.

I’ve been married for almost three weeks. People have been asking me what it’s like to be married and whether it’s different from the common-law setup we had before. My answer, thus far, has been it’s not much different and they should try me in a few years when I have more experience.

Only, that has been the short answer. Is my day-to-day dramatically different? Not really. But it hasn’t been exactly the same either, at least not psychologically.

Here’s what I’ve been thinking about for the last few weeks:

1. I wonder who will die first. If it’s him, what will I do with myself? I have thought a lot about death and sickness in general—growing old, as well as unforeseen tragedy. The permanency of ‘til-death-do-us-part has forced me to think long term.
2. I worry that my unmarried friends will think I’m different now that we’ve exchanged vows. Mostly, I’ve been self-conscious about how fun I seem to other people. I don’t want to be “the boring married friend” that people write off when making weekend plans. Unfortunately, I have caught myself overcompensating by trying to act abnormally fun, which may be coming off as psychosis.
3. When I see attractive people, I think about both my husband’s and my new limits. Even though neither of us would have ever pursued some arbitrary hot person when we were dating, marriage seems like the subtraction of choice. I have been secretly hoping my husband isn’t disappointed by this, although pop culture would tell me he definitely is.
4. As an extension of number one, I think about the aging process and how I will look when I’m 40. More specifically, I wonder how my husband will think I look when I’m 40. As a twenty-something, I am cognisant of the fact that I’m young—something men seem to dig. I am more cognisant that this ain’t gonna last forever. It’s a tad depressing.
5. I don’t know if it’s the marriage or the fact that I just saw Obsessed, but I’m waiting for the day when I’ll have to kick some homewrecker’s ass.

Other than the mental exhaustion of planning my funeral, it’s been really great. It might be the honeymoon-period talking, but I’m genuinely stoked about this whole marriage thing. It’s nice to know that someone will always be there at the end of the day, and life for that matter.

 

Quick note about the Toronto garbage strike

1)     It smells.

2)     Sick days are for when you’re sick. Not taking sick days and being paid for them is ludicrous. Not only does it serve as a deterrent for people to stay home when they really *are* sick, but people aren’t entitled to be compensated for staying healthy. Why? Because they already are—it’s called a salary.

3)     People are unemployed and city workers complaining about not getting a fair shake. Gross.